People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
