I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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