Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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