Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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