yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
