You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
