so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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