So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
