I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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