I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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