I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
