Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
