that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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