Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
