Im at strip club and am horny
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize