omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize