btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
