I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
