I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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