he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
