I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize