Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
