If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
