I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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