oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
