Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize