That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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