well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
