Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
