YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
