3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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