If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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