i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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