OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Rumble strips road head = magical
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
