he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
