Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
