Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize