My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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