sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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