i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
