My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
