I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
