you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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