Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
