Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I bet he comes in French.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
