and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just invented taco cereal.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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