Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
