my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
