I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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