I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
