in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you inspire me to be a worse person
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Randomize
