Tell her she can't have a vagina
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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