no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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