It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
