is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize