It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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