I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
