Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
