Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
