You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
