Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
