I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
