went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Never joke about your clitoris.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
