So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize