My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
