that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
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