I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
