It's like God shit irony all over that family
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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