omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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