I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
