Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
