Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
