Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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