the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
