Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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